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NEW: Accepting her Laird, Book 3 of the McRaidy Clan
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~The McRaidy Collection~

  • Her McRaidy Chieftain, Book 1 of the McRaidy Clan
  • Somers Rising, Book 2 of the McRaidy Clan
  • Accepting her Laird, Book 3 of the McRaidy Clan
  • Only because it was You, Gus McRaidy
  • All of Me, A McRaidy Son

Saturday, September 1, 2012

My personal thoughts:Friendships

I've had a variety of ups and downs over the last couple of weeks. I was privileged to do an article for Romance Reviews by Authors and had an interview with USA Today with my two co-authors in the Anthology, Life's a Beach from Still Moments Publishing. In addition, I've done some promoting for Somer's Rising from Eternal Press.

I was in full mode of juggling it all when everything screeched to a stop.

Not because of anything with my writing but aspects of life snapped my head back and forth. First, my long time friend moved to another state. It wasn't that we managed to see each other here as much as we should have and in fact we both spent our face to face time with other friends. I regretted that the minute her car turned left and mine turned right. It made me wonder why if we were really "BFF's" we didn't make more of an effort. Situations like that make you look at the overall cause and affects. We promised to visit but logically I know we will rarely see each other, very much like we have for years. I concluded that our friendship functioned on texting as we very infrequently called or even got together for a drink or coffee. Maybe we had both let it evolve to a "chatting" friendship because technology made it easier.

As I evaluated the status of that friendship, I truly had my feet knocked out from under me. Another friend was in a coma and died because of a tragic accident. As I wrote that sentence just now, my eyes teared up. The details aren't as necessary as being faced with the fact we didn't keep in touch as we should have. I do know this world is a far lesser place because of her absence. She had the prettiest smile, gentle demeanor and love of her family. I'll always hold her in my heart.

Now that I feel capable of putting words down, I am taking a closer look at the relationships around me. I have a man in my life that I don't spend as much time with as I want. I let other things clog up my day. I'm rectifying that. He is important to me and I won't forget to show him that by making sure I spend time in the same space as him. My son's are older now but I'm still their mom. They still want my attention and I want theirs. Instead of making an excuse the other night when the youngest suggested a milk shake, I got in the car and away we went. I won't always have that kind of opportunity. I also nagged the older son to take time for a quick visit but I also stopped in at his house yesterday while he was home with a cold and spent a little time.

I moved down my list and worked on the details of my cousin coming to visit me at Christmas. Plane tickets and other scheduling needed to be done and there are some loose ends but it will happen. We've tried to do this for years since we live across the country from each other. I admit, I took tremendous comfort knowing she was working with me on this and it was "we" want to spend time together. More importantly, when I spoke with her about my regrets of not spending more face time with those close to me, she understood. We rarely text and make the effort to actually call. We further make our best attempts to save money to buy plane tickets. Yes we are related but we are close friends.

There are a few more on my list that I care about and I'm working on those.

Overall I now see that though technology has made so many things much easier and better, I for one may have let it become too convenient. A phone full of texts or even emails will never replace "in person" time. My books don't have the center of the relationships revolve around electronic communication, they are together. My life should be the same.

With all of the above said, I've promised myself this. If I need to talk, I'm dialing the phone. If they don't pick up, so be it. Texting will be for quick comments, not conversations. I also accept that friendships evolve and change. Much like a poem I am particularly fond of says: Friendships are for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime.
Perhaps I should focus on those in my life for a "Lifetime" and appreciate that other wonderful people have come for a "Reason" or a "Season" and say thank you.

I shall now end my deep thoughts on this subject and get in my car and go annoy my younger sister. She may not realize it but she's missed me. I'm going to tell her:)

Lots of Love
Em

4 comments:

Terri Bruce said...

This is all so true - life is too short and it's so important to make time for the people and things that are truly important!

Destiny Blaine said...

Em,

Wonderful post. Writers have an isolated career. You're right to make the effort now to spend more time with family and friends. It's not easy when deadlines loom, but from one writer to another--don't put the business in front of what is most important. One day you'll look around and those you love the most won't be there.

I've started focusing on scheduling outings with friends and family well in advance. And I treat the lunch date or night out like a scheduled appointment. That way, I won't cancel even if a pressing deadline looms.
:)

Love,
Destiny

Susan Spenser said...

P.S. Thank you for submitting an article to Romance Reviews Submitted by Authors and for the mention here.

Several authors left you comments. You nailed the topic! :)

Hugs,
Destiny

Em Epe said...

Destiny-Thank you for the wonderful words:)