Noticing you're content

Yesterday I attended my best friend daughter's wedding. I've written about my BFF but let me give you a quick review. She is an amazingly intelligent, beautiful, loyal woman who in spite of teeth gritting challenges still manages to be funny and positive. I'm a lucky person to have her as my closest friend for 22 years. We've gone through marriages, divorces, births, child rearing to some pretty stubborn but yet wonderful children and yes, there have been deaths.
As it turned out the wedding was scheduled for my birthday. I'd like to think that's why the day was chosen but really, it just happened that way. LOL I had originally planned a trip out of state to do some gambling but I canceled when I found out the date. I always ask myself, In twenty years, where will it matter more where I was? This time, it was "A's" wedding.
As I drove the hour to the town where the ceremony and reception would be held, I sucked down my coffee. After all it was starting at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. When I got closer my memories started flooding in. I recalled driving to the same church when "A" was born to attend her blessing. She wore a pretty white dress and looked exactly like her mother.
As I drove by the local drive in, I thought about the taco cheese dogs, deep fried mushrooms and nachos we'd eaten far too many times at that place. I passed the old turn where my friend had owned a home and remembered spending the night when we thought "A" was in labor with her first daughter and the cranky phone call the next morning as I drove home because I left before my friend woke up and could make me biscuits and gravy. Its some good stuff I promise!!
Other memories floated around my head and I got a little teary eyed from time to time. When I pulled into the parking lot of the familiar church, I remembered attending her mom and dads vow renewals years ago. I did laugh a bit because during a musical slide presentation they showed my friend being walked down the aisle in a beautiful gown....later my BFF whispered that picture was from her first marriage not the one she was currently in...oops!
When I went in, I saw my friends sister. She is such a pretty woman and has one of the sweetest personalities. I've always been fond of her.
I took a seat in the back and watched her mother dispersing boutonnieres and corsages to those who should have them. Then she looked up and said "Why are you sitting there? There won't be that many people, come down front."
I told her I had a great view and smiled. My heart felt warm that she cared where I sat.
With in a few minutes a hear a "hey Aunt "Em"". It was BFF's second son and he looked all neatly shaven with a hair cut. Now keep in mind he has spent the last several years exploring our country and has used some creative transportation methods such as train hopping and hitching a ride etc. He sat next to me and we dove into a catch up conversation. I was happy to have his company.
Pretty soon her brother wandered over and I had a chance to give him my condolences on the loss of a granddaughter last year. He was very kind and we caught up as well. One by one her family said hello or waved.
Then the music started and I turned around. There was my BFF and her daughter. My friend was a single mom for many years and "A" wanted her to walk her down the aisle. I was so proud of "A" for recognizing the rightness of having her mom take on the honor.
"A" was spectacularly beautiful and the dress made her look like a princess, her smile exquisite and everything was perfect.
During the vows, she choked up a bit and next thing I know, I realize the baby I watched so many years ago was now a breathtaking woman committing herself to a man who loves her very much. I wished my children had been able to attend and I thought of them. Of course classes, work and living out of state prevented their attendance.
The reception was as friendly and as welcoming as every part of the church process.
As I sat in a comfortable chair on the deck of her mothers home waiting for the food to ready, I looked around and thought to myself, I belong. The reason I belong is because my best friend of all these years always included me. A funny feeling came over me. More of a warmth really and I couldn't remember a time I felt so content with life or the journey of it.
When my BFF sat next to me and said "thanks for coming, I'm glad you showed up" I almost choked. Where else would I be? The adorable bride mattered enough to me 22 years ago that I came for her blessing, why wouldn't I be here for this happy moment too. I even thought, "its my right to be here" :):)
My only regret is once again, we were all dressed up and didn't get a picture of the two of us! That always happens. Oh and the small incident when I tried to take the macaroni salad from my BFF's plate when she left the table for a minute. In my defense, if you've ever eaten her moms mac salad, you would have done it too. I'm addicted to it and even request leftovers if I know my BFF is going to her moms house for a family get together.
Any way, to sum up how I felt, it was a feeling of peacefulness. Belonging lets you know, you matter even when the day or moment isn't about you, you're still wanted there. Even though it was "A's" day and wedding, it was a pretty good birthday for me too. At least I won't forget her anniversary!
I wish many wonderful days for "A" and her new husband!
Lots of Love
Em